"Now this is bullshit I can believe in."

- George Will

Harry Reid Voted Washington’s Sexiest Man of the Year!





by D’Leereeus Johnson, DP Assistant Managing Editor

Sunday, November 24th, 2013,

(WASHINGTON) —Brad Pitt, Ben Affleck, George Clooney, Matthew McConaughey, Bradley Cooper, Denzel Washington and all the rest of you “sexiest men” of years past, it’s time to meet your match (at least as far as the nation’s capital is concerned).

     Less than a week after invoking the “nuclear option” in the U.S. Senate that deprived its minority party the ability to filibuster presidential appointees —the first time in U.S. history— Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) was named Washington D.C.’s sexiest man of 2013 by Washingtonian magazine.  

    The all-things-Washington-themed magazine’s December issue will hit stands later this week, but has already released its December cover, titled “2013: A Year of Scandals in Review”, featuring a strapping Senator Harry Reid in a most robust, suggestive pose, along with a five-page article on the Nevada Senator and why he was given the magazine’s highly sought  “sexiest man” title.

   The Washingtonian first began naming the D.C.–metro area’s sexiest men of the year in 1986, plucking them from the capital’s politicians, journalists, entertainers, power brokers and prominent socialites.  Since then it has granted the esteemed title to men such as former Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown, General David Patraeus, Colin Powell, Senator Marco Rubio, CNN reporter Jake Tapper, Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III, Al Gore, Robert Kennedy Jr., and Hillary Clinton.

    The magazine’s choice of the 73-year-old Reid is peculiar to some, but not to those on the Washingtonian’s staff, especially those of the panel that voted to name Reid the capital’s sexiest man of the year, which was done at the last minute, according the publication’s assistant editor, Joana Lansing.   Said Lansing to the Associated Press about the “Sexy Reid” choice, as her staff is calling it, “We were torn between a freshman Congressman and the head of a prominent human rights lobbying group, whom we won’t mention now that we’ve made our decision.  But then came Harry Reid, with that daring, ballsy and insolent move he made in the Senate last Thursday.  I mean, throwing out two-hundred and fifteen years of procedural protocol just to satisfy the will of his party’s leader, the President, and completely turning one-half of our three branches of our government into a virtual dictatorship..?  That took guts.  It also took arrogance.  It took childish near-sightedness and complete disrespect for established tradition with a distinct streak of tyranny… All qualities women find very sexy in men, for better or worse.”

   “Our last minute choice of Harry Reid being the sexiest man in Washington was certainly not because of his looks,” according to Washingtonian’s editor, Garrett M. Graff.   “I mean, he was a decent looking man four decades ago, but we always to take into account other factors that makes a man ‘sexy’ by Washington standards, like hubris, conceitedness, ruthlessness, and the ability to do whatever it takes to tear up our government’s traditional procedures and norms —bordering on illegal— in the name of forwarding a radical agenda.  Now that’s ‘sexy’!”

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     “The way (Reid) rammed that historic and gross ‘nuclear measure’ to strip the Senate minority of their filibustering power..?” Graff added.  “Oh, did he ram it through!  He rammed it through so hard and good! …Ahh, sexy, indeed!”

     Senator Reid has not addressed his being named the sexiest man in Washington personally, but his office released a statement Sunday thanking the Washingtonian for naming him D.C.’s sexiest man of 2013:

“Senator Reid is humbled and honored to be named Washington’s Sexiest Man of the Year. While Mr. Reid is surprised by this bestowment, many on his staff consider this title as being long overdue, since the Washingtonian now considers conceitedness and oppressive, opportunistic natures ‘sexy’…and because that most of his staff hate his fucking guts.”

    Last Thursday’s maneuver by Senate Democrats, spearheaded by the “sexiest” Harry Reid to strip the chamber’s Republicans of the ability to block President Obama’s judicial and departmental appointees was viewed as a blatant and despotic power-grab by the GOP and even some Democrats, with three Senate Democrats voting against stripping the filibustering ability away from the minority party; citing the disastrous long term consequences if the Senate is ever returned to Republican control, as well as the move being the worse abuse of power since President Franklin Roosevelt tried to pack the Supreme Court in 1937.

     But even some Republican Senators, while deploring the autocratic move by Senator Reid admit that in a counter-intuitive sense his mania for ultimate control is quite “manly,” thus “sexy” in a weird way. 

     “As of last Thursday I have lost all respect for (Senator Reid) due to his cut-throat tactics,” said an enraged Senator Susan Collins (R-ME) to Duh Progressive, Sunday.   “…But at the same time I got to admit it was rather ‘ballsy’, and in that way kind of, well, you know, erotic.  I hate this man, but want to jump his old bones now like nobody’s business!  Whata’ bad boy, you know?  What a bad, bad, naughty boy!  Oh, (Harry Reid) needs a spanking!  He needs to be punished; spanked naked, by me, as soon as possible!”

     Added Sen. Collins, “Harry Reid, you son-of-a-bitch!   You’re a crude, rude, tyrannical bastard. …God, I want you!”

   Senator Lindsey Graham (R–SC) reportedly admitted to also sharing Sen.Collins’ sentiments to reporters, Sunday.


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