by Ledge Slater, DP Editor-Enlarged
Saturday, February 21, 2015,
(WASHINGTON) —As hundreds of millions of people and two-thirds of the nation’s land mass remain stuck in a brutal, unrelenting arctic blanket that has brought endless snow and bitter temperatures as far south as central Florida and freezing New York’s Hudson River solid, there appears to be a silver lining surrounding the sub-freezing cloud covering much of the country.
Just two days day after concluding a controversial, three-day summit on “violent extremism” around the world (where President Obama refused to mention “Muslim terrorists”), President Obama gave an impromptu speech on the south lawn of the White House about his afterthoughts on his anti-extremism powwow. Mr. Obama has given speeches in severe cold before, yet stunned the White House press corps and invitees when the sub-freezing temperatures became so fierce that Obama became literally frozen in the middle of spouting off more lying, manipulative, delusional bullshit.
Mr. Obama initially thanked reporters and visitors for braving the unusually cold and freezing rain outside the White House and began making brief comments on his way to his limousine, which was waiting to drive him to address the winter session of the Democratic National Committee in Washington’s Hyatt Regency. But when the President began to list the main accomplishments his believed his three-day summit on “violent extremism” achieved, he appeared to become incoherent in his speech (more so than usual), slurred repeatedly, slowed his speech and movements, finally resting motionless in mid-sentence about how Muslims had “arrived to the United States...errr...almost....if not at the same...the same time...our Founding Flounders did...and so they d...they did,” stumbled Obama, clearly in freezing discomfort. “America and Islam share a c...common history...We, umm...share...shared...shhhh...”
White House reporters at first believed Obama was making light of the obscenely cold weather and making a joke about the near-single-digit temperatures engulfing the capital, but then realized that the President had indeed literally become frozen in mid-bullshit!
“I’ve heard (President Obama) be interrupted in the middle of stating total bullshit before, like having a heckler break into the middle of him speaking just one long, endless line of shit, but to literally freeze in mid-bullshit...?” said Justin Sink, a longtime White House correspondent for The Hill to fellow reporters. “There was even one time when it was so hot out during a re-election speech that Obama got over-heated and forgot to feed everyone a big line of bullshit. But this is a first —frozen in mid-bullshit? Now I’ve seen everything!”
White House staff and Obama’s personal physicians rushed to the President once they realized the “’Muslim-extremist’-evading” Commander-in-Chief had indeed become frozen stiff, with a steady wintery mix of snow and sleet covering him and reporters.
“The President had frozen solid, not completely solid, but he was certainly in need of medical attention, as well as causing an embarrassment,” said Dr. Ronny P. Jackson, Obama’s personal physician. The President, while generally in good health, has given Dr. Jackson a scare or two throughout the years, “...But Saturday morning was one of the most unnerving,” Jackson said to Duh Progressive. “I never saw the President just freeze up, literally, in the middle of complete meandering bullshit like this. This was worse freeze in bullshit than the last time his teleprompter broke.”
Once Obama was defrosted by White House staff he continued walking to his limousine bound for the winter DNC conference, but not before talking on about how the U.S. needs to do more to understand Islam and embrace it as having inextricable ties with America’s innate culture. Although not caught on camera, an aide to Obama was picked up on audio muttering as the President entered his limo, “...Next time can we please just let him stay frozen?”