Monday, April 20, 2015,
(WASHINGTON) —With virtually no public opinion polls agreeing with President Obama’s stance on illegal immigration, the Obama administration issued the ordering for the construction of over eight-dozen giant conveyor belts, hundreds of miles long in many instances, which will literally allow illegal immigrants (aka “undocumented guests / “Dreamers”) to ride into the U.S., without having to walk through the treacherous southwestern deserts.
With sweeping legislation via his phone and his pen, President Obama signed the “Conveying Compassion” order in what some could call the wee hours of Monday morning, giving illegal aliens a literal free ride into the U.S. and throwing a major wrench into the messages of 2016 presidential hopefuls, particularly Democrat Hillary Clinton. But some prominent Republicans in Congress are supporting the administration’s sweeping dictates that total disrespects and ignores their purpose for being, and are urging fellow party members running for presidential nomination to support it, too.
Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC), described the conveyor belts as “humanitarian gestures” and “life-saving necessities,” as hundreds of people crossing into the United States die of exhaustion and dehydration every year in the Desert or drown in the Rio Grande. The administration’s order would also forbid any U.S. law enforcement agent of any kind from being at the receiving end of the 50 to 300 miles–long conveyor belts, allowing as many undocumented persons from unknown lands south of the U.S. border to “convey” themselves into the United States as possible.
“Not only would these conveyor belts save lives; lives of family members of many undocumented immigrants we have living in the shadows today,” said Sen. Graham on the Senate floor Monday morning, “but they would be solar-powered, too, thereby helping the environment.”
If the administration’s orders remain, about 96 giant conveyor belts, some stretching as long as 300 miles to keep illegals from crossing scorching terrain and dangerous waters, would be built in a joint effort between Mexico and the U.S. They would be peppered throughout the 3,100–mile–wide U.S.–Mexican border, allowing Mexicans and other Latin America peoples (along with a Middle Eastern terrorist or two…but who cares, you know?) to simply hop on and ride their way comfortably to the great American promise land.
Beginning as deep in Mexico as its city of Nuevo Casas Grandes and extending as far into the U.S. as Silver City, TX, the conveyor belts will undoubtedly save many people seeking better lives in the U.S., as well as give them comfortable passage for their journey.
Republican senator and presidential candidate Rand Paul, an outspoken critic of the administration’s “Conveying Compassion” directive, is already expressing displeasure with the conveyor belt order. “So now instead of securing the borders we’re going to allow illegals to literally be shuttled, ‘dumped’ into the country from Mexico, just like they were inanimate objects, like vegetables –potatoes, cabbage? …More like jalapenos,” said Sen. Paul at a campaign stop in Dallas, Texas, Monday, as he seeks to coddle hardcore conservatives to his more libertarian views within the GOP.
Sen. Paul (R-KY) said the idea of conveyor belts shuttling illegal aliens into the U.S. from south of the border was degrading to those crossing, as “a conveyor belt would demean and reduce the dignity of people to that a chattel”, according to the Kentucky senator, including that the company “360 Degree Solar Holdings, Inc.”, the company formed from the leftovers of Solyndra, the federally funded solar power company famously specious and inept, collapsing finally in 2011, would be the company fueling the conveyor belts via grand fields of its solar panels peppered throughout Mexico and the American southwest.
Also and ironically shocked by the executive conveyor belt ruling was Janet Murguía, President and CEO of La Raza, a prominent pro-amnesty advocacy group. Said Murguía in response to Sen. Graham’s statements Monday morning, “We’ve had issues with some of the White House’s provisions, like making undocumented immigrants pay a fine, earn green cards, take citizenship tests, go through background checks, learn English or do anything that in any way contributes to society. But this ‘conveyor belt order’ is certainly a sweetening component to a rather disappointing approach to increasing illegal migrants.”
Immigrant rights groups estimate that the conveyor belts could help an extra 2.5 million undocumented immigrants, mainly from Latin America, come across the border in safety each year, a fact the Senator Graham and other see as enduring Hispanics to the GOP eventually, give or take 150 to 200 years; just a blink of an eye, if you think about it....
Said fellow senator and presidential hopeful Marco Rubio to reporters shortly after Sen. Graham’s proposed amendment, “We (Republicans) have to win over Hispanics if we are to survive as a party. We must make concessions and compromise. That’s why we’ve given illegals living the U.S. a vigorous pathway to citizenship and secured the borders… Then tell me what’s secure about 100 giant solar-powered conveyor belts shuttling untold millions of strangers into the United States every year, never to be officially documented or kept track of thereafter? I want to know: what’s ‘secure’ about that? Nothing, that's what!”
“I don’t know about the rest of my Republican colleagues,” continued Sen. Rubio, “but I have read the Constitution word-for- word, and nowhere do I see where the Founding Fathers were in favor of giant conveyor belts dumping as many illegal immigrants as possible into the country, with no hope for assimilation. …So let’s be clear: to be ‘anti-conveyor’ is to be ‘anti-immigrant’? Jesus Chr...!”
John Stossel, a libertarian columnist, reporter, and regular Fox News contributor slammed the “conveyor amendment” on his Facebook page Thursday afternoon. “Liberals want open borders and illegal immigration for so-called humanitarian reasons and perceived sins of the past, White guilt, etc., while conservatives want illegals just as much, but for cheap labor. Either way it puts our country on nothing but one big conveyor belt to increased poverty, balkanization, and the loss of societal cohesion the cacophony of over-diversification has always brought to nations that have tried it.”
Senator and fellow presidential candidate Ted Cruz (R−TX), who has been one of the most outspoken opponents of immigration reform, has kept relatively silent on the conveyor belt order thus far. Instead of verbal railing, the Texas Republican has proposed a similar amendment, allowing conveyor belts to be built around the shore lines of America, leading miles out into the ocean, so decent, law-abiding Americans can ride out, drop off into the ocean, and drown themselves rather than live in a nation that both parties now seem hell-bent on turning into anything but the one in which they grew up.