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Top 10 Rejected Summer Olympic Games



   Duh Progressive is pleased to be the possessor of the only known list of this summer’s *rejected* Olympic games.  Thanks to our secret source inside the International Olympic Committee, Duh Progressive was able to get its hands on the list of possible sports that, although may be very popular in some countries, did not have enough international appeal  to make the cut and be among the competition in London this summer. Although dozens of games were rejected, we can only present the top 10 rejected sports.   And so, here they are:


1.) Synchronized Water Boarding






2.) Bobbing for Burqas





3.) Farm Animal Flirtation and Love Making Contest (because you may as well just invent a sport only Greece is allowed to play)





4.) Baby Kitten Shot Put

 




5.) Pin the Birth Certificate on the President (look out, he can be a slippery one!)

 





6.) All-Muslim Air Show Competition  (you probably don't want to see the photos of how those end up)


7.) 40th Anniversary Munich Massacre Re-enactment Event (Iran and Egypt's  idea, almost got passed by I.O.C.)



 

8.) International STD Transmission Relay (whichever country's athletes leave the Olympics with the most amount of new sexually transmitted diseases wins… i.e. someone from Baltimore. USA! USA!)

 



9.) U.S. Border Patrol Agent Target Competition (courtesy of Eric Holder)

 





10.) World War III

 

 
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Police Blotter

Bethesda, MD -- Police responded to the scene of a robbery. Officers arrived to the home of 53-year-old Dennis Cselsik after he reported his home, business, and money were stolen. Police promptly informed Cselsik he was living in a county that votes 97% Democrat. Cselsik declined to file charges.

 

 

 

Horoscope

Gemini
May 21 -
June 21
You will spend the entire summer trying to insert a Jerry Sandusky/Penn State joke into every conversation you have until someone finally has your face meet an 11-pound cast iron frying pan traveling at 20 miles an hour.

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