"I laughed so long at this web site that I ran out of urine and my husband had to pee my pants for me!"

- 80 Year Old Woman

Nancy Pelosi: ‘‘Waiting hours longer in the emergency room will allow you to make new friends!’’

 

 

 

      Dear Fellow Americans,

     Among the many fears people are expressing about the Affordable Care Act is the supposed extra hours it will force people to spend if they have the misfortune of having to go to hospital emergency rooms.

     Critics claim that those enrolled in “Obamacare” (a term I personally dislike but have to use, or else the commoners out there won’t know what I’m speaking about) will be forced to sit even longer

Read more: Nancy Pelosi: ‘‘Waiting hours longer in the emergency room will allow you to make new friends!’’

Kathleen Sebelius: ‘‘All Your Worries About Obamacare Will Be Cured When You’re All Dead’’

 

 

 

     My Fellow Americans,

     I have not been deaf to the outcry over the impacts of the Affordable Care Act, be it our troubled enrollment web site (which I wholeheartedly take responsibility for; my bad. Sorry!), or the loss of millions of Americans’ healthcare plans they use to be on, or their jobs, or the drastic increase in their insurance premiums, or loss of healthcare if one has been diagnosed with some horribly incurable disease…or whatever other hideous ailments may plague people.  

Read more: Kathleen Sebelius: ‘‘All Your Worries About Obamacare Will Be Cured When You’re All Dead’’

Rep. Joe Wilson: ‘‘Hey, America, Can I Have My F***ing Apology Now?!’’

 

 

 

 

Dear America,

As some of you may recall, I had an outburst of “pent-up frustration” at President Obama during his first State of the Union address in 2009.   While President Obama was touting his pending Affordable Healthcare Act, I shouted “You lie!” It was rather out of character for me and instantly caused uproar across the nation.  Some people came to my defense, although most condemned me for interrupting a president’s State of the Union speech, and most of all for denouncing President Obama as a liar.  

Read more: Rep. Joe Wilson: ‘‘Hey, America, Can I Have My F***ing Apology Now?!’’

‘‘I Thought Obamacare Would Make Sure No One Would Ever Die!’’

 

 

    Dear President Obama,

   Mr. President, like, dude, my granddad died on Sunday! That’s right. When my aunt finally pulled him out of his tomato soup he wasn’t breathing and was dead.   And I blame you, President Obama.

Read more: ‘‘I Thought Obamacare Would Make Sure No One Would Ever Die!’’

TERROR!! My Horrifying Run-In with…KOREAN PEOPLE!

      I was petrified, frozen; immobilized in fear, the only part of me yearning to budge was my sphincter, aching to open and shower my pants in a plethora of odiferous terror….  Indeed, folks, such was my reaction when encountering on a blissful summer afternoon a horrifying, deadly gaggle of…of…KOREAN FAMILIES!  Yes, I know, take a minute to catch your breath, wipe your brow, and ingest what I just stated.

Read more: TERROR!! My Horrifying Run-In with…KOREAN PEOPLE!

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