"America might have deserved 9/11, but not this site. No, never!"

- Rev. Jeremiah Wright

Senior Republicans Warn Impeaching Obama Would Violate ‘‘Americans With Disabilities Act’’

(WASHINGTON) —Military vets left to die under V.A. care, giving up key Taliban leaders for a U.S. soldier who deserted his unit, opening the borders to thousands of unskilled indigents from Central America, allowing mass-murdering Islamists to overrun.... 

Read more: Senior Republicans Warn Impeaching Obama Would Violate ‘‘Americans With Disabilities Act’’

Obama Warns Rampaging Islamists: ‘‘Stop…or I’ll say ‘stop’ again!’’

(NEW YORK) —Hell hath no fury like a Barack Obama scorned! And as Islamic militants continue overrunning more territory in Iraq, they got a taste of that “hell” President Obama is prepared to unleash Tuesday if the fiercely–armed “Islamic State of Iraq and Syria” (ISIS) group does not....

Read more: Obama Warns Rampaging Islamists: ‘‘Stop…or I’ll say ‘stop’ again!’’

Bergdahl Says No One Ever Told Him ‘‘War Would be Dangerous’’

(GERMANY) —It was only a matter of time: an apparent insider stationed where confirmed U.S. Army deserter and former Taliban captive Sergeant Bowe Bergdahl is being held under tight guard has leaking to the press what Bergdahl is now telling military investigators....

Read more: Bergdahl Says No One Ever Told Him ‘‘War Would be Dangerous’’

TOP PRIORITIES: Obama Honors 11-Year-Old Inventors of ‘‘Fart Machine’’

(CLEVELAND, OH)—Still suffering under an economy which seems to be hopelessly stuck in a rut, with America’s middle class no longer being the world’s wealthiest in decades, and with each new day birthing a new scandal that rocks the administration, President Obama tried to divert Americans’ attention....

Read more: TOP PRIORITIES: Obama Honors 11-Year-Old Inventors of ‘‘Fart Machine’’

Fleeing Californians Debate Which State to Ruin Next

(SANTA MONICA, CA) —It has been 34 years of marriage, three children, two grandchildren, two homes, three jobs, and Mary and Joseph Peterson have had enough.  The two Sacramento natives and college sweethearts have lived in California their entire lives.   Now their lifelong....

Read more: Fleeing Californians Debate Which State to Ruin Next

Nation Rejoices As It Sends Another Batch of College Grads Into Complete Oblivion

(UNITED STATES) — Proud parents, professors, administrators, and the entire nation once again annually gathered at colleges this past week to celebrate an estimated 2.8 million new college graduates heading off from college and into complete hardship, rejection, unimaginable struggle, ass....

Read more: Nation Rejoices As It Sends Another Batch of College Grads Into Complete Oblivion

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