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OPINION: ''If You Won't Let Me Get Drunk and Plow Into Your Grandmother at 50-Miles-an-Hour, You're a Racist''


On Sunday, August 1st, authorities claim I “allegedly” had some spirits, got behind the wheel of my car, and drove head-on into another car full of Benedictine nuns, killing one of them. Now I am sitting in jail awaiting a hearing in Prince William County, Virginia.

So…Okay, okay, I get it: I’m the bad guy, now, right? I came to this country of my own free will and means, and you all claim I am here “illegally.” Well, I don’t know how any human being could be anywhere on the Lord’s earth illegally, but here I be. And drinking and driving is just as much of the underprivileged Latino culture as Mom and apple pie are to white America’s. And it’s time this country better wake up and realize this.

So basically, if you all won’t let me drink copious amounts of alcohol, then get behind the wheel of my car –which I am unlicensed to drive anyway— and plow headlong into your grandmother at 50 MPH, you’re a racist! Even if drunk driving is not more associated with illegal immigrant culture, per ratio, it is certainly associated with Carlos Montano’s culture, and I’m (expletive) Carlos Montano!

Come on, people, this is supposed to be the land of the free; where individual liberty is the only “king” we have. But how is this good ol’ American dogma true if I’m sitting in jail now, charged with exercising my individual liberty to take five shots of Jack Daniels within an hour, followed by four Budweisers in 30 minutes and speed blindly through the streets of suburban Virginia? If I were a rich, white, preppy guy with lots of connections and who had been born and raised in the U.S., I’d be out of jail now, drinking and driving to my heart’s content. But no, I’m an “undocumented Latino,” so that somehow makes one Benedictine nun more dead than all the other Benedictine nuns killed every day by drunken Wall Street executives behind the wheel of their BMWs. Shit ain’t right, man!

This is obviously a racial issue, and I am saddened America has decided to disrespect my culture this way. I weep for this society’s future.

This is a double-standard this nation cannot live forever with. When will America realize it’s the innate right of its inhabitants, particularly the “undocumented” ones, to enjoy a few cold ones before partaking in the America tradition of enjoying the grand open road? And if it does ever realize this, I hope it’s before my pending hearing and trial.


Carlos A. Montano


Carlos A. Montano is currently in jail in Prince William County, VA, after being charged with drunken driving, involuntary manslaughter and felony driving on a revoked license. He had been arrest previously for drunk driving and was “awaiting” arraignment for deportation.



It is Duh Progressive’s unwavering position that any illegal immigrant convicted of a violent felony in the United States should be subject to capital punishment.

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