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Obama Calms Worried Democrats: ''If you like your majority in the Senate, you can keep it!''

(DANSVILLE, VA) —In a mid-term election season that has gone from looking shaky to grim for Democrats, particularly in the U.S. Senate, President Obama tried calm Democrats' growing fears of losing all of Congress on November 4th Tuesday.   During a campaign stop for besieged North Carolina Senator Kay Hagan in Dansville, Virginia (Sen. Hagan has explicitly told.....

Read more: Obama Calms Worried Democrats: ''If you like your majority in the Senate, you can keep it!''

Poll Finds Ebola Virus More Popular Than President Obama!

(NEW YORK) —Not only in the city where the newest case of the West Africa's deadly Ebola virus has been confirmed in the U.S., but outside New York a new nationwide poll is showing shattering results for President Obama's job approval rating and causing even greater fear for Democrats desperate to hold on to the U.S. Senate after November 4th...

Read more: Poll Finds Ebola Virus More Popular Than President Obama!

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow Diagnosed With Ebola, Doctors Refuse to Help!

(LOS ANGELS) —A week after actress Gwyneth Paltrow made her now famous "gushing" over President Obama during a Democrat fundraiser she hosted at her Los Angeles mansion, the Hollywood darling has been quarantined in a Los Angeles hospital, diagnosed with the deadly Ebola virus tha....

Read more: Actress Gwyneth Paltrow Diagnosed With Ebola, Doctors Refuse to Help!

Entire Nation Hysterically Inconsolable, Suicidal Over Eric Holder Resignation!

(WASHINGTON)  —Ordinary citizens left their jobs and stopped virtually all that they were doing Thursday morning, leaving their homes to pick up their children from the middle of their school day as news broke of the pending resignation of U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder.  Many of those, upon hearing the news of Holder's plans to quit the Department of Justice, bursts into tears and....

Read more: Entire Nation Hysterically Inconsolable, Suicidal Over Eric Holder Resignation!

Male University Students Must Now Ask Permission for Each Thrust During Sex

(BOSTON) —Following in the steps of Ohio State University's newly adapted "Kissing Codes", which were in-part a response to the recent revelations of ramped domestic abuse scandals that have rocked the National Football League, Boston University has thrown its hat in the snowballing reaction to the issue of domestic violence, and....

Read more: Male University Students Must Now Ask Permission for Each Thrust During Sex

Al-Qaeda Says It ''Feels Too Sorry'' We Have Obama as President to Attack Again

(LONDON) —In a bizarre and certainly unexpected message by al-Qaeda on the 13th anniversary of its 9/11 attacks, the terrorist group's current leader, Ayman al-Zawahiri, formally informed the United States that al-Qaeda has grown to "feel too sorry" to attack the it again due to its having Barack Obama as....

Read more: Al-Qaeda Says It ''Feels Too Sorry'' We Have Obama as President to Attack Again

Obama: ''These ISIS folks are nothing but a bunch of big meanies!''

(CARDIFF, WALES)  —You can’t say President Obama isn't a quick learner, or can be dreadfully intimidating when he wants to. Responding to the release of a video that shows the beheading of a second American journalist by "ISIS" (the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria) Tuesday, President Obama came out....

Read more: Obama: ''These ISIS folks are nothing but a bunch of big meanies!''

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