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Obama: ''These ISIS folks are nothing but a bunch of big meanies!''


by Ibrahim al-Lincoln, DP official Muslim Civil War Re-Enactor

Thursday, September 4th, 2014,

(CARDIFF, WALES)  —You can’t say President Obama isn't a quick learner, or can be dreadfully intimidating when he wants to.  Responding to the release of a video that shows the beheading of a second American journalist by "ISIS" (the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria) Tuesday, President Obama came out as forcefully as ever against the caliphate-seeking radical Islamists Thursday, calling the group “a bunch of big meanies” during a NATO summit in Wales.

   Obama is sharpening his stance against "The Islamic State" in lieu of growing criticism from both political parties that his signature "No Drama Obama" persona has given way to Apathetic Obama, as critics say the President has "checked out" of his job and is willfully ignoring the atrocities being committed by ISIS in Syria and Iraq.

   The barbarous, mostly Sunni Muslim group's recent video-taped beheading of American journalist Stephen Sotloff is finally being addressed by Obama as he visits Wales for a conference of NATO members. But surprising critics and reporters covering the President's visit, Obama broke his silence again Thursday, laying out his harshest critique and vitriol against the bloodthirsty Islamist group to date.

     Steven Sotloff had been covering the civil war in Syria since 2012 until he was kidnapped by ISIS "rebels" in early August of 2013.   Sotloff was filmed being beheaded by a British-accented ISIS fighter in a video titled "A Second Message to America" earlier this week.

    "These ISIL (Islamic State of Iraq and Levant, aka ISIS) does not represent Islam or the world's Muslim community!" an enraged President Obama said at a press conference in the Welsh capital of Cardiff, Thursday, after his meetings with NATO members.  Statements like these are common for a U.S. president following such an Islamist atrocity, but it was Obama's next statement that made reporters cringe at the President's seeming new hellish rhetoric, ominous of a pending iron-fisted approach to ISIS: "These people are cowards and hoodlums and an insult to all the world's religions, believers in all and any God," continued Obama.  "But worst of all, this latest atrocity proves these ISIS folks are nothing but a bunch of big meanies!"


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     With a natural hush falling over the traveling White House press corps, reporters covering the NATO summit looked at each other, some with a icy shiver of fear at a new, emboldened Obama no one has heard speak so bombastically before.

     "...That's right, you heard me —meanies!  That's was ISIL is —nothing but a bunch of gosh-darn, poopy-faced schoolyard meanies!" Obama raged on, pounding his fist on the podium.   "My administration has no tolerance for a bunch of 'meanies' —poopy-pants, poopy-faced meanies— murdering American citizens, journalists just trying to do their job!"

     After long murmurs from reporters covering the conference and Obama's "meanies" declaration, Obama continued his tear into ISIS.  “...Meanies –that’s all they are!  Just plain old mean!  I’m finally beginning to realize that!  A bunch of meanie, poopy-faced doo-doo head radicals!   And my administration won’t stand any longer for this behavior by them!”   

   "I knew President Obama would break out of his 'No-Drama-Obama' image he has always prided himself on," said a visibly rattled Mike Allen of Politico after the Cardiff press conference, "but not like this, not with this much tough rhetoric...this is not even 'rage'; this was borderline insane —Hitlerian, even! ...I'm scared, what else can I say?  And I'm not even a member of ISIS!"    

   Added an upset Allen, wiping his brow, "This is even worse than when (Obama) warned ISIS to 'stop, or he would say stop again'!"


Obama’s Tough-Talk Striking Global Fear, Dread

     Already Obama’s rancid "poopy-face meanie" talk is working the foreign policy magic with which his administration has become so accustomed.  Indeed, Obama's "poopy-face meanie" verbal war proves unequivocally what the leader of the free world meant when he said the U.S. would "degrade" the ISIS terrorist army, and is causing many other world leaders unrest.

     Within less than an hour of hearing about Obama's "meanies" and "doo-doo-heads" slurs against the ISIS/ISIL troglodytes, Russian President Vladimir Putin announced he was withdrawing all Russian forces and support for the Russian−backed separatists in eastern Ukraine, undoubtedly fearful of what filthy, adolescent invective President Obama may hurl against him if he doesn't; thus rendering the main purpose behind the North Atlantic Treaty Organization's summit in Wales nearly futile this year.

     Said Putin on Russian state television late Thursday, Moscow time, "I've rarely been fearful or concerned about the damage foreign powers could inflict upon mother Russia. ...But ever since I heard Obama's calling the ISIS rebels such dirty, naughty names, I'm just not sure aiding a separatist movement in what Russia sees as historically ours —be it ours or not— is wise if I am to go toe-to-toe with a man (Obama) obviously willing to call people such embarrassing names."

     Added Putin, "Who knows who will fall under Obama's relentless, blood-curdling insults and taunts next, but I'm not about to keep meddling in Ukraine's affairs to find out if it will be me, I tell you!"

    Undoubtedly "increased surveillance", even "double-doo-doo-increased surveillance" and an uptick in the occasional drone strike is part of the President's active plan behind his chillingly bombastic rhetoric, Thursday.  Of the roughly estimated 30,000 to 50,000 fighters now with ISIS, an extra bomb or two dropped on a truck full of a few Muslim psychopaths is just the "cherry" on top, according to White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest.

     "We know that since the inflammatory and name-calling by the President, that many may be worried that Mr. Obama will start going off half-cocked and turning the entire Middle East into a giant parking lot," said Earnest to White House reporters not traveling with the saber-rattling Obama.

   "We want to assure you all and the American people that despite such vulgar, hot-headed and irrational statements by the President against one of America's enemies, no matter how vicious, are in no way indicative of President Obama's intention to wage all-out war, be it on Syria, Iran, ISIS, Russia, North Korea, China, or whoever.  However we do understand why such unsavory wrath would give anyone pause to wonder if the President is not out to annihilate all the enemies of the United States...maybe even Islamic radicals, too."

     No response has been reported yet from the commanders of the "Islamic State" now smothering western Syria and northern Iraq, or their leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, on President Obama's unprecedented "degrading" of them as "meanies" and "doo-doo heads" with "poopy-faces and poopy-pants".  Unconfirmed reports say are they are too busy massacring Christian men, women and children, as well as Shia and other religious minorities under their spreading control, preparing attacks on America, and deciding which journalist they should behead next.


SERIOUS NOTE:  Obviously there are those who will be nothing but offended at this article and miss its point, entirely.  And due to the recent and horrific event which prompted this piece, Duh Progressive understands there may be more than usual who will be totally offended and miss its point.  Rest assured, however, it is Barack Obama who we are poking fun of, and in no way trying to demean or diminish the tragic murder of Steven Sotloff or James Foley, or anyone else butchered by ISIS, who President Obama has willfully turned a blind eye to...if not more.  Thank you..


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