"A big steaming pile of NOT FUNNY."

- Lizz Winstead, Air America founder, former Daily Show producer

Obama's New ''Legals'' Looking Forward to Lifetime of Official Second-Class Citizenship


by D'Leereeus Johnson,

Thursday, November 20, 2014,

(OMAHA, NE) —Within moments of hearing that President Obama announce Thursday night he is going to take "executive action" to make them, as well as nearly 5 million other "undocumented residents" (i.e. illegal aliens) legal residents of the U.S. within a stroke of his pen, 29-year-old Ernesto and Rose Alvarez, 28, said they almost "jumped through their ceiling" with glee at the announcement they were no longer in danger of being deported.

     The couple had been as President Obama commonly refers to it, "living in the shadows", as illegal immigrants in the U.S. since 2006, after a treacherous journey eight years ago from Managua, Nicaragua, through Central America and Mexico.   Ernesto is a bricklayer, working (until now illegally), and Rose a maid to mainly Republican homeowners in Omaha, Nebraska.   Now the high school sweethearts are looking forward to being allowed to live legally in the United States, but more so looking forward to a lifetime of legal second-class citizenship, which, like most of the Obama administration's policies have further helped cement minorities into.

     With their son, Ernesto Jr., age nine, who although was born in the U.S. has never learned English, and so is also destined to spend his life as a second-class citizen, thanks to President Obama's executive decree.   Living in a mostly Hispanic enclave in Omaha, the Alvarezs' look forward to being totally dependent on the federal government for most of their subsidies, and thus totally shirking, albeit unintentionally, the long, arduous, painful paths their ancestors before had entered the U.S. ...legally.   

    "I just can't believe we have been given such a great gift to stay here legally, finally!" said Ernesto Alvarez's via a translator to reporters of Omaha's KETV.   "Now we legally keep creating our own mini-Nicaraguas here in America, never daring to assimilate to its Western-European culture.   ...Sure, my son may grow up to be nothing by a janitor because of his lack of English and education, and will breed multiple kids who know nothing of America's history or culture. But hey, isn't that what America is all about now —'multiculturalism'; having no one being able to relate to each other? Really, like, what is American society supposed to be, cohesive?"


*Don’t Forget to Follow ‘Duh Progressive’ on TWITTER and FACEBOOK*


     Millions more like the Alvarez family, thanks to President Obama, now happily await a " legal existence" in the U.S. that will, for the most part, still subjugate them to second-class citizenship rather than help them out of it as the President insists, the greatest example being never having to even learn English as they will not ever have to venture out, unless it is for work, of their ever-growing neighborhoods to understand or appreciate the nation that is on a suicidal quest to extinguish its multi-ethnic and cultural solidity. But such an executive order further fracturing America into foreign born and isolated ethnic communities is something not all of its native or foreign-born residents are enthusiastic about.

    Said Javier Juanico, a 53-year-old real estate manager and native of Los Mochis, Mexico, who has been a U.S citizen since 1983, "This is an outrage! President Obama can take this blatant, callous pandering to people who do not want to follow the law and stick it up his ass! ...'Presidente Assholio Grande' is what I call him!"

     Juanico waited over five years to gain citizenship in the U.S., and is incensed that while he and his friends had to "wait in line" to become Americans, people like the Alvarezs and millions of other are now being granted safe haven for crossing into U.S. illegally.   "This is a slap to the face of all those who followed the rules," added Washington resident Juanico to Duh Progressive Thursday night.  "...Go to any other country and just walk in and say 'Hey, I'm here to stay' and guess what..?  You won't!  Mexico imprisons and deprots people all the time who enter it without going through the proper channels it's set up for becoming a citizen of Mexico.  And now this?!  'Presidente Assholio Grande' strikes again! ...Shame!"

     However Leonard Joseph, Deputy Director of the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agency said he and the rest of ICE are very pleased by President Obama's decision to simply sign away the illegal status of five million of the nation's estimated 11 to 15 illegal immigrants.  Joseph said Obama's action will allow he and the rest of ICE to now concentrate on "super illegal illegals", such as murderous gang members and child rapists, not the regular "illegal illegals" who just commit "pesky crimes" crimes such as vehicular homicide during drunken stupors, assault college co-eds, sell drugs, or get into domestic fights, commit fraud or armed robbery.

     At the White House, elation was evident both inside and outside its gates, with mostly illegal immigrant supporters of Mr. Obama's decision marched and cheered in front of the White House waving American flags (oddly almost all of the same make and size), trying to ignore the urge to jump the White Houses fence, as its lawn has been looking rather shabby recently and needs attention and care.

     Press Secretary Josh Earnest's office issued a press release shortly after Obama finished his 15-minute address to the nation Thursday night, stating that the President made "inarguably clear, compelling and detailed plans on what precise actions he will take, how he will take them, who and how many his controversial, lone action will impact, and if there is anything (any detail) the American public, legal residents or not, should know that Obama did not disclose Thursday.

     "The President was as forthcoming as he possibly could in his speech," said Earnest's release. "Everyone of the five million people Mr. Obama mentioned know who they are and how they will be handled. A fter all, it's not like this is a President or administration that keeps vital details or truths from people.  We're not liars, you know."


SERIOUS NOTE: Unlike how many Democrats and leftists wish to portray the issue of illegal immigration as one about race and racism, Duh Progressive does not see this issue through the lens of race, but rather class and culture. We understand that most illegals in the U.S. are Hispanic/Latino, yet are completely indifferent to this, but are enraged that it is virtually impossible for such large numbers of foreign-born residents to assimilate and become productive, self-sufficient members of a host country —any host country— in such a short period of time. Too many people flooding (illegally) too fast equals national Balkanization and dysfunction. And yes, we know most of the illegals in the U.S. are law abiding people who are simply searching for a better life, however....THEY'VE   ENTERED   THE COUNTRY I-L-L-E-G-A-L-L-Y!! OUT!

*Don’t Forget to Follow ‘Duh Progressive’ on TWITTER and FACEBOOK*


Recently Published on DuhProgressive.com

  • Title
  • Date
  • Random
  • 1

Newsletter Signup