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FINI: France Formally Surrenders to ISIS Following Terror Attacks


by Ledge Slater, DP Editor−Enlarged

Monday, January 12, 2015,

(PARIS) —Keeping with tradition, the French people have shown great solidarity and resilience following the shocking Islamic terrorist attack last Wednesday and Friday, the pinnacle being the estimated three-million-attendees at Sunday’s anti-terrorism (aka “Unity Rally”) in Paris.   The French people have vowed not to have their freedoms and way of life mutated to accommodate Islamic terrorists.   Obviously then, in light of such national cohesion and bravery, the French government felt no other choice Monday than to formally surrender the nation to the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS).

     Just a day after his nation’s anti-terrorism/unity rally, a tearful French President Francois Hollande announced Monday evening that France will be surrendering its territory and assets to the murderous militant army, fearing more terrorist attacks if it does not.

    “It is with a heavy heart that I regret to inform the French people that the federal government of France feels no other choice in the aftermath of the devastating attacks on Wednesday, January 7th, and Friday, January 9th, to surrender itself to the ‘Islamic State’, totally, in order to prevent any further bloodshed among our people,” Hollande said. “...Commencing on February 1st, France will hand over its sovereignty to ISIS, the ‘Islamic State’, and formally submit to its laws and demands.  Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi will take over my office as President of France. ...The French government strongly urges the people of our republic to adhere to whatever Mr. Al-Baghdadi demands, and to submit to ISIS’s requests, no matter how extreme, as long as that proves that France is a liberal, open, accepting society, even to the extent of accepting its capitulation and downfall.  This must be done, lest we endure further terrorist attacks and bloodshed as on January 7 and 9th.”

     From an secret location in northern Syria, a seemingly stunned ISIS leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, issued a statement that he and other ISIS higher-ups were not aware of France’s surrender to them, had not prepared for it, and are hurriedly preparing for ways to reaching France, en masse, then figuring out how to establish control over the nation of 67 million people.  Said al-Bagdhadi in his press release: “Hey, look France, we’re just as shocked as you all must be at your government’s capitulation.  We’re like, so stunned, but, yo, like, totally stoked at the same time!  We never asked France to capitulate to us in particular, but are very pleased they have chosen us as the people they wish to surrender to, and to surrender in the name of Allah.  God is Great!  We look forward to ‘cooperating’ with the French people in the near future.”


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     Even though ISIS is not claiming responsibility for the attacks on Paris’ satirical Charlie Hebdo newspaper and police officers, as well as a nearby Jewish deli two days later, President Hollande said that it is the “largest and most sophisticated Islamic army” that is capable of literally taking over France, unlike many other radical Muslim groups, and so surrendering to ISIS will assuage the anger other jihadists around the world may feel towards his nation; in effect, giving themselves up to the currently mightiest Islamist army in the world to “finally fend off attacks by other radicals.” 

     Hollande cited that the now dead Islamic terrorist, Amedy Coulibaly, who held dozens of people hostage and killed four at a Jewish delicatessen last Friday, had an ISIS flag in his abandoned car, along with literature praising the radical army and proclaiming his murderous acts in its name.  

     With undeniable ISIS sympathies the Paris terrorists had, that was the final straw, according to President Hollande on why France should surrender to ISIS.

   The formal capitulation of France makes it the first nation in Europe to officially and completely abandon itself to a radical Islamic power, although many critics say that France was already and steadily edging towards being an Islamic state, with Islam being the second most practiced religion in France, and nearly one out of six French residence supporting the Islamic State, Islamic prayer rooms now in an overwhelming amount of French hotels, and at least 750 “no go zones” in France currently (city blocks/zones that are Muslim controlled and ruled like autonomous states outside of French laws and culture). With France having already given up so much of its territory and customs to Islamic laws and culture, France’s formal surrender to ISIS is nothing more than the last nail in its liberal-minded “open society’s” coffin, claim critics.  

     Indeed, France has long stood alone among all other European nations in trying to play “nice-nice” with Muslims; inviting refugees in by the hundreds of thousands and also opening up to non-asylum-seekers who are Muslim around the world, especially from North Africa, where the French once held great colonies and did not exactly play “nice-nice” with the native Muslim populations (...uh, decades ago!), and subsequently catering to virtually all of their wishes and demands. 

      Said retired U.S. Army Lieutenant Colonel Ralph Peters on Fox News’ Happening Now with hosts John Scott and Jenna Lee Monday afternoon about the impending hordes of radical Muslims of ISIS that will invade and take over the country in weeks, “Look, there’s no doubt that France is trapped in this liberal mindset, this ‘liberal guilt’ from all of its exploits in Islamic and Third World nations last century, and joining that ‘cowboy’ they consider George W. Bush on his wars in Afghanistan and Iraq... But so what?  Is that an excuse to surrender your country to Islamists, and all of its dirtbag, murdering terrorists?!  Jesus-God, France, you smelly, limp-wristed frogs, grow some BALLS!”

     Col. Peters went on to say that although many European nations besides France had colonized and inflicted tremendous hardships on Muslim nations in the past, that that does not mean the French (or any other Western nation) must atone by totally giving up their country, language, religion and culture, and handing them over to the most radical group of Islamic extremists currently known, and thus to whatever horrors ISIS will inflict upon them.

     “Two wrongs never make a right,” Peters said.  “And to think that out of some far-flung liberal guilt, stemming from decades ago will make France feel ‘forgiven’ by allowing it to be controlled —as if enough of it already isn’t controlled (by Muslims)— by ISIS is total lunacy! ...Just wait, in six months everyone in France will be putting their butts up in the air five times a day, and little boys and girls twelve times a day, be hating dogs, women not allowed to go to school, married off at age 11 to bearded old men with floppy old greasy, useless genitalia, and will be donning beards —men and women alike! ...Oh, wait, I forgot, French women already have beards.  ...My bad!

     Continued Col. Peters, “This whole surrendering to ISIS because (France) feels guilty for the sins of its ancestors is beyond the pale! ...Look, I’ve been married for 30 years. I love my wife to pieces and would do anything for her and have been faithful. But before (my wife) I treated all my girlfriends like shit. Total shit! So what, what, what am I supposed to do? —strap myself in a chair and invite all my ex-girlfriends’ fathers around me to ‘converse’; ‘talk about’ how I treated their daughters back in the day? Gimme a f**king break!”

     This is basically what France and all of Europe is doing when it comes to Islam, Col. Peters concluded: “France, and most of Western Europe...if you think about it, is like a grown, respectable, kind, and humble middle-aged man, looking back on all the girlfriends he mistreated long, long ago in his youth, and now wants to make up for those sins by strapping himself to a chair, helpless, in a dark room full of all the fathers of those girlfriends he treated like shit!   ...Morally-speaking, it’s a kind gesture, but in reality makes as much sense as a diamond in a turd!”

   “Jesus-God!” Col. Peters finally added, “John (Scott), does Fox News have a policy about vomiting on camera, live?”


SERIOUS NOTE: Dear France: You did this to yourselves. Duh Progressive is sorry to (again) be the bearer of shitty news, but you, in essence, did this to yourselves.   France is not a dictatorship; you are free to elect leaders whom you believe best represent you and your desires for your country.   Yet, at this moment, you all have elected leaders whose policies and beliefs have finally culminated in/to this...THIS?!   Are you happy with yourselves?   Are you proud of what you have (out of guilt) let your cities and your suburbs turn into?   No.  No... Ultimately, NO, Duh Progressive does NOT feel sorry for France, as a whole / nation / people.  For you guys ALLOWED this to happen, so blindly, happily and inadvertently. Duh is very sorry for your current woes, and your journey to realizing that just perhaps, you know, multiculturalism really doesn’t work in the long−run.  We would all love it to...  Bu it DOSEN'T.  So sorry.  Let’s just keep our heads up and hope for the best.   Good luck with yourselves.


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