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NYC Mayor de Blasio Still Baffled Why NYPD Hasn’t Saved Him From Home Intruders!

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by Jack Lakeman, DP Editor-in-Chief,

Friday, January 23, 2015,

(NEW YORK)  —Hours after controversial New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio placed a frantic 9-1-1 call on Thursday evening, telling police that armed men had broken into his upper Manhattan mansion and tied up his wife and children and were ransacking his home for valuables (while the mayor hid under his son’s bed), de Blasio said he was stunned and baffled why no police had arrived yet to halt the home invasion and save he and his family. 

     At around 7:14 PM, as de Blasio and his family prepared for dinner, a call was placed by de Blasio to police, telling them that he had heard a sudden commotion downstairs as he was changing for the evening in his upstairs bedroom.  When the mayor, who stoked great animosity between he and the NYPD last December, saw four strange men rounding up his family from his upstairs landing, the mayor ran and hid under the bed in his son’s room (the same bi-racial son whom the mayor boasted last December he has told to be careful when around New York City cops), whispering in terror to 9-1-1 dispatchers what he saw and was hearing as his expensive home was torn up and the thieves occasionally slapped his wife and kids as they stole family valuables. 

     “...I saw four guys, two with guns, and they have ski masks!  Dear God, I think they tied up Chirlane (de Blasio’s wife) and the kids (Dante and Chiare)!”, whispered a terrified de Blasio, begging for help.   “...I hear them yelling and breaking things!  I’m upstairs under the bed!  Send some police here as soon as possible!  Please!   All the cops you can!  Tell them their mayor’s life is in danger and we need help!”

     Ten minutes later de Blasio called back 9-1-1 dispatchers, “What’s taking you guys so long?!  They’re ripping up everything and I hear my wife crying! PLEASE!”

    Recordings have the 9-1-1 dispatcher saying police “were rushing to save (the de Blasios) as fast as they can” and that the mayor had nothing to worry about, while distinct giggling is heard in the background.

     De Blasio has shown a long history of anti-police rhetoric and actions to garnish favor with the most liberal wing of his party and with minority voters, and incited rage among the New York Police Union in December by siding with protesters in response to a grand jury’s decision not to indict a Staten Island police officer in the choking death of “losie” salesman Eric Garner last summer.  De Blasio made numerous speeches disparaging to the New York police force following the outbreak of —many times— anti-white as well as anti-police protests in New York and around the country.  De Blasio’s main theme while campaigning for mayor had been to stop the city’s “stop and frisk” police, which has been credited for drastically reducing crime in the last 12 years.


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     De Blasio told reporters on the scene with him underneath his son’s bed (it’s a big bed) that the police must be taking so long to rescue him and his family because of the weather.  “I shouldn’t be angry,” said de Blasio, “there is still snow on the ground and it’s icy and treacherous.  I’m sure (the police that he has so belittled) are just being cautious.  They wouldn’t want to crash and risk not being able to save me. ...Uh, yeah, that must be it!”

    After his home's invaders were heard yelling “Where’s your husband’s safe, bitch?!” from downstairs, a shaking de Blasio placed another call to 9-1-1, then told reporters, “The dispatcher said she’s already sent out the ’10-31’ code about our house several times.  Damn it, it must be the cold!  ...It’s been so cold for so long that the cops’ cars must have trouble starting!  I thought cars didn’t do that anymore!  G--damnit!  Now everyone in the city is in danger because of frozen cop cars!”       

     After almost an hour had passed and two of the four home invaders were now rummaging around upstairs, down the hall from where de Blasio and reporters were hiding, de Blasio finished his eighth 9-1-1 call.  Said de Blasio to reporters after hanging up with police dispatchers, “She said ‘every member of the NYPD is on their way to save the mayor’!  What the f--k?!  ...Wh...wait, maybe they’re thinking ‘mare’?!  M-A-R-E?!  ...My God −they think I’m a horse!  The cops are looking for guys who’re robbing a horse!  One of them I banned must‘ve h escaped!  That’s it!”

     When the burglars entered de Blasio’s son’s room they were dismayed at the lack of valuables, except a few dollars in cash and a plethora of marijuana in his dresser drawers.  The robbers stayed upstairs smoking all of de Blasio Jr.’s pot while they moved to another room and were cracking jokes about how they couldn’t believe they were actually robbing the Mayor of New York’s house, according to reporters.

     “Yeah, laugh it up, scumbags!” hissed the mayor as heard the robbers laughing from he and his wife’s bedroom, “They’ll be sorry once the NYPD gets here.  ...It’s been two hours, but I’m sure they’ll be here any minute...a-a-a-a-any minute now...uh-huh.  Yep!”

     Just as the home invasion reached its third hour and de Blasio was realizing that the NYPD must be having massive “static issues” with their radios that prevented them from hearing his pleas for help, the robbers left, with almost all of everything worth any value in their upscale East Manhattan semi-palace gone.  According to reporters, a shaken de Blasio rushed down to untie and remove gags from his wife and children, whom, albeit traumatized and a little roughed-up from their ordeal, were otherwise unhurt. 

    According to sources, upon being ungagged by her so courageous husband, a terrified and enraged Mrs. de Blasio’s frantically asked, “Why didn’t you call the police, Bill?!”

    De Blasio responded, emphatically, “I DID —twenty-six times!”

    “Then why did they never show up to help?!”

    De Blasio:  “It was no use, dear!  Their cars are frozen, their radios don’t work...and they think we’re horses!”

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(NEW YORK)  —Hours after controversial New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio placed a frantic 9-1-1 call on Thursday evening, telling police that armed men had broken into his upper Manhattan mansion and tied up his wife and children and were ransacking his home for valuables (while the

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