"Now this is bullshit I can believe in."

- George Will

‘‘Like, Whatever, Dude’’ Now Leading Among Possible GOP Presidential Hopefuls

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by Diana Jameson, DP intern reporter

Saturday, February 28, 2015,

(UNITED STATES)  —Democrats seem unshakably behind Hillary Clinton being their candidate for president in 2016.   It is no secret that there is an aura of inevitability surrounding Clinton’s chances of being on the ballot next November.  With Republicans, however, it has been a rollercoaster, with so many possible candidates grabbing the voters’ top choices for nominee week after week. 

     From Mike Huckabee, to Jeb Bush, to Marco Rubio, Scott Walker, Chris Christy, etc., GOP voters have seemingly grown tired of vacillating between whom  they favor most, with the most recent poll showing 54% of likely Republican voters settling for “Like, Whatever, Dude” as their top choice for who they want as their 2016 nominee.

     Released on Friday, a Rasmussen poll of 1,100 Republican voters found them giving up on finding a single candidate to maintain as their preferred choice of who they want in the White House in 2017, answering wearily “Like, whatever, dude...” to pollsters, further proving what a growing number of political pundits and election enthusiasts have been predicting for weeks —that “Like, Whatever, Dude” indeed has what it takes to win the GOP nomination for president and may very well be elected president.

     According to Rasmussen poll taker Lorne Blomquist, Republican voters throughout the last year have swayed their likings so much within such a wide range of candidates, hoisting almost everyone to the most popular / favorable mantle at one time to another that finally right-leaning voters are giving up on a particular candidate and just falling back on “Like, Whatever, Dude” as their ultimate chosen favorite.

      Said Blomquist to the Associated Press Friday, “It was originally Mitt Romney who (was the favorite) among Republican voters, then it was (Jeb) Bush, then Scott Walker...then it was (Mike) Huckabee.   It became construed, confused, and, if I may say, almost random.   ...Whoever made a big speech one week was propelled to the top of the favorability totem, only to be replaced by who made another big speech the next week.  ...Huh, talk about weak!


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     Blomquist said the most recent poll showed that, even at this early stage; the pre-pre-2016 primaries, Republicans have been given so many choices and have found so many “over-night like and dislikes” in each candidate that now they’re throwing up their hands and just resting on “Like, Whatever, Dude” as their most favored candidate to take on the undoubtedly Democrat nominee, Hillary Clinton, in 2016. 

     Commented Washington Post columnist and Fox News commentator George Will Saturday, “It has been anything but assuring for (Republican) voters to latch on to one possible candidate after another so quickly.   It’s been painful to see Republican voters bickering so much about their candidates without ever knowing officially, as in a formal declaration of candidacy speech where they stand on the issues.   So with this frenzy of disorder pervading the Republican base, it only makes sense that ‘Like, Whatever, Dude’ is finally rising to be on top of all of them.”

     Larry J. Sabato,  Director for the Center of Politics at the University of Virginia, told the Duh Progressive Saturday that with each possible GOP candidate seizing the helm of most favorable from one day to the next so soon, it is only natural that Republican voters are growing tired of picking their favorite candidates via sifting through the nuances of each one, and finally “throwing up their hands” and declaring “Like, Whatever, Dude” as the most viable candidate to take on the Democrats next November.   It is only natural, said Dr. Sabato that “Like, Whatever, Dude” is by default (or more like despair) propelled to the front of the Republican conga line in the coming election season.


DARK HORSE:  “Like, Whatever, Dude” Now a Formidable Force

     Rasmussen’s poll showing Like, Whatever, Dude is not a pre-election season aberration, brought upon by big-wig campaign spin masters or donors.  “Like, Whatever, Dude” has become an actual, viable candidate, climbing his way through the murk and grime of the usual gradations between a plethora of candidates, and distinguishing himself as just “hey, just chose somebody” ...embodying himself in the cloak of “Like, Whatever, Dude”. 

     Like America’s current president, no one knows for sure where Like, Whatever, Dude came from.  Sources close to Look, Whatever, Dude say he is from Omaha, Nebraska, while others claim he has roots in Anchorage, Alaska.   No matter the case, “Like, Whatever, Dude”, is taking the reins of the GOP presidential contenders by storm, and has climbed swiftly on top of their choice for nominee in 2016.   And while 2016 GOP hopefuls duke it out in the second-to-last Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) outside Washington this weekend, to average Republican voters it does not look like “Like, Whatever, Dude” is going to be dethroned from the top of their choice for nominee anytime soon.

     Said Gregory Marpet, a pharmacist from Jacksonville, FL, who was polled by Rasmussen, “I just got tired of the kaleidoscope of possible candidates pulling my strings, making me favor one over the other ever other day, you know?”

     Marpet, 48, said that with one disparaging remark or revelation coming from one candidate after the other, he, like many Republicans, just got tired of saying, “Yeah, Jeb Bush −that’s the one”, or “Yep, Walker, he’s the one!”, or “(Rick) Perry, that’s our guy!” ...finally resting on, as Marpet put it, “Ahh, f**k it!  ...Like, whatever, dude!”

     It seems as if the last six years of the Obama administration have worked their magic of ambivalence upon Republican voters, erasing attempts by other Republican contenders to distinguish themselves amongst each other, resulting in an outcome from GOP voters of “please, anyone...anyone but more of the same!”, or in other words, “Like, Whatever, Dude”.

     Continued Marpet, “I’ve looked at every candidate there is.   They all have qualities and positions I like and not like.  I don’t know who (to choose).   It’s impossible to know at this point.  That’s why I’m resting finally with Like, Whatever, Dude.  ...I’m all about ‘Like, Whatever, Dude’ at this point!  What normal Republican wouldn’t be?   Go, ‘Like Whatever Dude!’!”

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(UNITED STATES)  —Democrats seem unshakably behind Hillary Clinton being their candidate for president in 2016.   It is no secret that there is an aura of inevitability surrounding Clinton’s chances of being on the ballot next November.  With Republicans, however, it has been a rollercoaster, with so many possible candidates

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