Oh, Earth, we have heard Your cries of pain, and have felt Your noble wails of woe. Over the last few years there seems to have been so many outpourings of Your anguish, from earthquakes in Pakistan, China, New Zealand, Haiti, now Japan; tsunamis in Indonesia, floods in Australia, Europe; draughts in Africa; swine flu in Mexico, and not to mention the melting of your ice caps.
Queen Mother Globe, I have loved You like no other of your creatures, and my feelings for You have remained those of love. But it is harder and harder to remain unconscious in the face of your obvious disdain for human kind, no matter how understandable Your feelings against how we’ve been treating You have been. This has caused me to revaluate my own feelings towards You. And although I remain forever Yours in the utmost emotes of Your celestial chakras, I must confess my own emotes for You have been wavering recently, unlike hitherto.
I no longer feel my feelings to be the same for you, Madame Empress Madre; I love You, yet do not know how I am feeling now that You have made it abundantly (as abundant as morning dew on the wheat fields of the Great Face of Mount Salyah) clear that You no longer desire humanoids among the entities scuttling upon Your body.
Oh, Great Colossal Rock Mother, this happening in Japan makes me reaffirm my awe for You, yet I cower in fear of Your…Your Y…Your You-ness.
I no longer feel the same for You, my Grand Ethereal Uterus of Greenery. Please, tell me: how can I ever describe the feelings I have over how my feelings once felt for You? My feelings are so quarrelsome over Your pending demise. Do I welcome Your downfall as a rightful act of vengeance on your human stewards, gasping euphorically as You slowly descend upon us via these Godly Menstrual Cramps of Mortality? Or do I, thee, myself and I reject your screams of distress and curse Your crustal excretions resulting in such human calamity?
My feelings for you have indeed altered, Thy Mountainous Mounds of My World, and I don’t know how to describe how I feel about how my feelings once felt about themselves. How can I ever express such things? Help me understand how to relate this turmoil within my dirt-borne soul.
I may have no choice in the matter, Great Moon Mother, as I change my son’s soiled maple leaves sufficing as a diaper, and wish for You to explain to us how we are to express our sorrow in the times we were so ourselves in the times we weren’t ourselves towards You. Or were we? I just ask as a final act of your effeminate cosmic charity, Dear Earth, that You show me the way to emote my past feelings on my previous emotes. Perhaps that is what I can and should only be asking of You.
Should we not all be requesting the same durations of our own past emotes for You? I think we should. May your ubiquitous divine ovaries shed mercy on us. My graciousness to You.